I read this post on the influence of consumption by Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio and it reminded me of my own experience when I was still single.
I had just moved out of my parents’ home after a painful disagreement with my father that left us estranged. I was 27 then, and I was going to find my own place for the very first time. Though the circumstances were unpleasant, I was nonetheless excited at the new prospect of freedom.
I found a place–a good friend of my husband’s is renting out a room in her three-bedroom condo (which eventually became our home as a family) and I wasted no time making that room my own.
However, the excitement soon faded and I found myself getting scared and anxious when I was by myself at night. I was getting all sorts of paranoid thoughts that I wasn’t alone and something or someone was out to get me. I couldn’t sleep til the wee hours, and I had work early the next day.
I was also a new Christian and I knew then that Christ was Someone I could ask for help and so I did. Each night I lay scared to death, I opened my Bible and prayed until early morning. I prayed for protection and for the fear to go away. It was exhausting to be scared all the time.
I also asked for the cause of my fears to be revealed. I thought it was the strife I had with my father, which probably contributed as well. But something was revealed to me that truly hit home.
Memories of my most favorite ghost stories that I loved telling anyone who cared to listen suddenly came back to me. My inclination towards watching horror and suspense films were suddenly pinpointed in my head. I loved a good fright much like any horror fan, but being a Christian, I suddenly realized–they simply don’t match. Fear of any kind, even for entertainment, simply doesn’t go with faith. What I had opened myself to, what I had devoured and consumed took its toll. Fear had taken root and anxiety took over my nights.
It took months but I had to deal with the unearthed cause. I prayed, repented and confessed to my husband too. He helped me pray against my fears.
Now, God had weeded out the propensity towards fear-inducing materials like horror movies and stories and saved me from my fear. Thank God! Sometimes, it’s still tempting to watch the latest horror fads like The Conjuring, The Walking Dead, etc. but really, it’s not worth investing in fear anymore. Thankfully, my husband doesn’t enjoy those kinds of entertainment too and would rather watch wholesome movies together.
The Enemy uses seemingly inconsequential things to lure us in, then were left to deal with the consequences and that’s usually FEAR. When you feel yourself fearful and anxious, pray for freedom and discernment of the cause then repent and pray for it specifically.
The grace of God frees us from ALL kinds of bondages, even those that modern society says is acceptable. Bottomline: If it causes fear or torment of any kind (even if it’s “just not being able to go to the bathroom alone”), kick it out of your life!